Living a Better Story ...

I talk for a living. Part of what I do working in student ministry is counsel and talk. I plan activities that invite families and students to live a better story. But what happens in ministry is you get stuck behind a desk answering all the phone calls and e-mails about the inciting incidents you are making happen for everyone in your ministry and the things you have a passion for slowly fade into distant memories. My weekly schedule is filled with spending time with people … but it is all talk. I meet someone at a coffee shop, we talk for an hour, and then I drive to another coffee shop to do it all over again. But in the midst of talking with people, I am not actually living any sort of story. I’m just talking about a story.

And because I talk so much, I read much. So, I read A Million Miles in a Thousand Years by Don Miller (and if you know me at all, you know I read his books over and over again because it stirs my heart so much). I so resonate with Don’s description of his life prior to working on living an epic story because he found ways to get around it. I have an extensive collection of movies, buy new books every week, and have actually reached a point where situations happen in my daily life that I end up just referencing a movie because I don’t know any other way to respond. I talk about how I like camping and hiking, but I’ve gone ONCE in the past year. I talk about having a passion for the homeless in Pittsburgh yet am too exhausted to even make the effort to find a ministry to serve with. But what happens is everything we think about that is an action or a relationship turns into an idea. And to take it a step further … sometimes even God becomes just an idea. I am there and that scares me because it causes me to lack confidence, trust, and faith in the One that created the unique, fantastic me.

So I’ve been thinking what it looks like for me to live a better story because at the end of the day, 1) I can only lead students where I go and 2) I’m tired of the bind fear has on me. So there are a couple things I want to be proactive about during this chapter of my life.

1. Connect with God: There are certain days where God is just an idea to me. It actually burns my soul to admit that. I want to find instill some sacred rhythms that draw me to our Father that overflow to serving others. I know the passions God has laid on my heart but when I think of Him as an idea, it’s easy to make those passions “good ideas” too. Meanwhile, my passion for seeing a mentoring ministry for teen girls and a coffee and wine bar with a missions focus just linger in the back of my mind, depth of my soul, and is the ache I get in my stomach every now and then when I think of what God has for me.

2. Connect with Creation: I talk about how much I love the outdoors yet I never am outside. So, with that confession, I want to meet God in His creation. I’m not sure what that means … if it means hiking, camping, bike riding, gardening, etc. But there is a miracle and mystery in how God created this earth and everything that surrounds us and I want to know more about it. I want to truly give thanks to God for the land (because I rarely think of it) and I want to be able to do so with dirt in my fingernails.

3. Connect with People: I’ve been really working on community. I’m a single 26 year old that has just started to build meaningful relationships in her life. So in that, I want to include people in my adventure and be included in theirs. As I live a better story, I want to challenge and push myself to encourage others to do the same. Because when we live life together and don’t just talk about it, it opens up a whole new level of depth in relationships that God meant to be there!

Don was nice enough to put together a little conference just about living a better story. And let’s be honest … a couple days away from the e-mails and phone calls helps a youth pastor digest their own story before placing themselves in others’ stories. Even better, Don has a contest to win a free trip to Portland for the conference. Hence the focus of this blog post. But there are a few reasons why this conference is important to me.

1. It’s not about ministry … it’s about my life, which is more important than any ministry philosophy I could learn.
2. I need to be encouraged that although it may be hard and draining and scary, that is the point! I will need to learn how to plan for the future and how to rely on the Holy Spirit to be my counselor and my comforter as I step into the unknown and uncomfortable.
3. I already have my friend picked out … we graduated from college together and are both struggling with our stories as adventurous and epical.
4. Right now, where I am in my life, I am not allowing myself time (nor money) to work on my own life. Please Don … force me to do so by sending me to Portland!!!!

Buy his books, listen to how the Holy Spirit speaks, do something about what challenges you, and live a better story.

LIVING A BETTER STORY CONFERENCE - Sept. 26-27, 2010 Portland Oregon

Living a Better Story Seminar from All Things Converge Podcast on Vimeo.

Getting Your Next Fix ...

This morning started out with the entire city of Pittsburgh covered in a thin layer of ice making the roads unbearable to drive on. The best part was that my car handled the roads beautifully ... I was absolutely honored to own a Subaru this morning while getting to church super on-time!

Although church services were small for us, we had an amazing morning that both challenged and encouraged me. Mark preached about the joy that comes only from knowing Christ. While talking about joy, we read Ephesians 5:18-20:

Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit. ¹⁹Speak to one another with psalms, hymns and spiritual songs. Sing and make music in your heart to the Lord, ²⁰always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.

Some conservatives keep their focus on the "Do not" part. Mark said something beautiful, "Drunkenness is a cheap substitution for joy." And when you read Eph. 5:18, you see that you can replace the word wine with anything. We can get drunk on alcohol ... on relationships ... on possessions. We get drunk on the things that give us that short moment of happiness. But it doesn't take long for the happiness to drift away and we need another fix.

For those that have met me after 2006, you don't know my whole story. After college, I spent two years struggling with alcoholism. This mainly came from a complete void and emptiness about anything and everything in my life. There was not one thing that I counted as a blessing and I was angry at God over a junkload of stuff happening in my life at the time. So I tried to find joy in everything but God. I turned to alcohol ... the bar scene ... the men ... all of it. It was the most empty I've ever felt in my life. I knew I was missing the point. I knew that I would get the same result with every drink .... nothing. But each drink "got me thru the night". And each man gave me attention for a brief moment. It lasted but a breath.

Sept. 2006 I returned home from Europe and made a vow .... I would not have a single drink for 9 months. In those months, I lost friends, a social life, and a lot of attention. But I also rediscovered how much my Creator loves me. And 6 months into that Drink-Free movement, we discovered my dad's lung cancer. And thanks to my stubbornness and God's great love, I didn't turn to alcohol to make me "happy" in a crud situation. But instead God gave me peace like I had never experienced. He took me to Africa and showed me true selflessness. He put me in full-time ministry while healing my "burnt by the church" wounds. He taught me how to be joy for those around me because some of the people I love don't know Jesus the same way I do. God made me strong during a time I could have been so weak and vulnerable.

Being filled with the Spirit (that is present perfect ... so continually being filled) .... that is what leads us to a life of love. The allows us to be light in the darkness. That changes the way we look at everything.

What are your cheap substitutions? Just take a moment to think about that and ask yourself, "Has the result ever changed?"

Realize that Eph. 5:18 isn't just saying drinking is bad. It is showing the contrast between the lies of this world and the best God has for us. We're all looking for true joy .... some of us just haven't found Him yet.

Like C.S. Lewis said, "You can find happiness in a beer, but true joy is only found thru a right relationship with God."

To be right or left ...

:::Disclaimer ... I hope you pick up on my sarcasm where appropriate. :::

I've read about this before .... Conservapedia.com "The trustworthy encyclopedia". To combat all the "crazy" references and things submitted to Wikipedia.com every day, one man decided to revolt and start his own encyclopedia that is clearly more trustworthy than another encyclopedia. He sees one as liberal and so he pushes back with the exact same thing but conservative. He even has a list of "Conservapedia Commandments" that must be followed or your account can be deleted. It's apparent that this man is a Christian because you can't use certain terms that are readily used in the atheistic community.

Now this Conservapedia Man is on a mission to rewrite the Bible without all the "liberal hidden messages they've snuck in after all these years". Because apparently he believes the liberal interpretation of Jesus makes him out to be "merely more than a social worker." So instead of trusting those that specialize in dead-ancient languages and biblical studies translate Scripture, he wants to let you and me do it. Something about that just doesn't seem right to me because I haven't brushed up on my Aramaic and Hebrew lately.

Here is a quote from their About page: "Conservapedia is a clean and concise resource for those seeking the truth. We do not allow liberal bias to deceive and distort here." So they put limitations on what information goes on their pages (which is smart and I respect) but completely deny that any "liberal" thought could be biblical or true.

But I think Conservapedia Man is forgetting something about Jesus. Jesus wasn't conservative ... and he wasn't liberal. Jesus had a third way ... a sacred way ... in which he approached everything and everyone. He didn't box in what he did by the Pharisees, Jewish law, or Roman law. But he didn't rebel as an anarachist. But he changed lives and continually elevated conversations and situations to a sacred realm. It wasn't always about following the law because people get lost in the law and forget about God. But it's not all mushy either because faith without works is dead.

The Christian sub-culture has a tendency to this though. Culture releases something and it's a huge hit/trend and so the Christian sub-culture pushes back with something the exact opposite ... or the exact same and just tagging Jesus onto the end of it. We forget that God gave us the creativity to come up with new ideas and to be able to approach culture in a third way because we are his ambassadors. We are his witnesses to bring the story of God's redemption for mankind thru Jesus Christ to everyone. The Christian bubble isn't filled with a bunch of little minnions. We're smart. We have creative ideas that we didn't get off the popularity of Harry Potter. We have a creative eye to design t-shirts that aren't just the Reese's cups reworked to read "Jesus" .... WE ARE SMARTER THAN THAT BECAUSE GOD HAS GIVEN US MINDS THAT THINK CREATIVELY.

Let us not forget the way of Jesus.

Nothing Short of Thankful ...

It's been a crazy summer.  I haven't been this busy since traveling with SRT in college.  But here's what the summer held from June 20-Aug. 20 .... 7 days in Nassau, Bahamas (HS Missions); 5 Days in Washington, D.C. (DCLA Conference); 7 Days in Panama City, FL (HS Camp); 3 Weeks in Hoima, Uganda (Missions).  Needless to say, I haven't had much time at home.  But I've taken the week off work and am finally able to debrief and debunk my brain.

Each trip was unique and new in the experiences and situations and community I was a part of.  There's too much for me to tell ... so much that I can't even put it all into words.  So here's some highlights.

Nassau, Bahamas

June 20-27, 2009

We took 23 high school students to work with Haitian refugees in Nassau.  A lot of time was spent building relationships with the local children and running a VBS.  It was a cool experience ... but wasn't the life-changing moment of the trip.  The life-changing moment for me was when I pulled up to a small community of the sick caring for the sick because no one will go there.  It was a former leper colony that has turned into an AIDS Colony (the new leprosy to them).  Each resident did whatever they could to make sure all members of the community are cared for.  Their rooms were about 5'x10'.  I met some residents and heard their story ... but there was one in particular that totally sticks out to me.  Miss Moxie!  Miss moxie is extremely frail and is unable to walk, so she spend her days sitting on her bed, reading Scripture, and talking to visitors.  I could barely speak as she praised God for every day she has and told us how thrilled and grateful she was for each breath she takes.  After we prayed with her, I walked out and was told Miss Moxie's story.  She was in Florida visiting some family members when she got into a car accident that put her into a coma for 2 months.  During that time, she got a blood transfusion that infected her with AIDS.  She talked about forgiveness and how much she loves God and how confident she is of His love for her.  I've never been so humbled in my life.

DCLA Conference

July 9-13, 2009

Mark led a daily Lab Room with two of our students and I got to go as moral support and tech guru.  We had about 400 students and leaders in our room every morning.  We got to bond with the circle leaders over the 4 days and had a total blast with our Lab!  The amazing, defining time I had was a late night get together with some of the top people in Youth Specialties.  I got to spend time talking about what it is to be a woman in ministry.  I walked away from that gathering feeling so encouraged about the ways God is using me.

BigStuf - PCB, FL

July 18-24, 2009

It was a wild and crazy week with The Skit Guys, Casey Darnell, Stuart Hall, and Jared Herd.  It was one thing after another from the start of the bus ride that made me just want to be home.  Frustrations were building and consequences were getting heavier.  But within 24 hours, God completely rocked our world!  After the final evening session, Jamie led our team down to the beach and had us kneel in the sand as we looked out at the ocean lit by the moonlight.  As we sat there, Jamie grabbed me and said "This may seem looney but just follow my lead".  So we started to walk into the water with one of our students.  Right there we had a beautiful baptism ... which led to another ... and another.  We spent about an hour in the water baptizing 26 students ... 23 from our church, 3 from other churches.  It was one of the most beautiful and special times I've ever had with students.  

Encounter Uganda Update to come in a few days ... I'm exhausted.  But hold on to your seats ... there's some good stuff coming up!

Oh How He Loves Us So ...

Wow, it's been a crazy past 2 weeks.  Even just the past 24 hours have been a whirlwind.  

On June 7, my beautiful little niece, Cassidy Marie, was born.  She is absolutely amazing and I can't get the smile off my face when I think about her ... I don't think I've ever prayed so earnestly for anyone than this little girl.

Yesterday Zach and I decided it would be a good idea to drive to Erie to see the comedian Brian Regan ... and it was a great idea!  We had a blast!!!  I also had a crazy day this morning, rushing downtown with Amanda to meet the Stanley Cup champs!  We got to get autographs, pictures, and touch the Stanley Cup.  Who can claim that??? (Besides the Pens of course)

But that hasn't been the amazing stuff of the past two weeks.  I've just continually been dwelling in God's love for us all.  

When my stress level rises, I have the tendency to take on too much, not take care of myself enough, and wear myself out to the point where I am just angry and irritated with the people I love.  But in the past 2 weeks when I reached my limit, God was so faithful to sustain me.  I may have had a mental breakdown or two ... but in the midst of those breakdowns, God revealed the beautiful community I have around me.  I have a boss that doesn't just say thanks, but he blesses me with things like Wii games to help calm me down.  I have dear friends that seem to have encouraging words to say at the perfect moment.  As Father's Day rolls around, God has helped me to celebrate my dad and the amazing man he was in my life in such a way that He is turning my mourning into dancing for the beauty of eternity.  The truth in His word has truly begun to dwell in my heart in such a way that it has opened my soul to seeing God in the big and little things when things get tough.

I've always been the one to take control ... and run out of my own strength .... and get frustrated when people didn't follow through or things didn't go my way.  But God has started to align my heart with His a little more that has opened me up to seeing Him no matter what happens.  It has changed my attitude and the way I approach things ... from meetings to spending time with friends to finances.  He's got it.  He creates, He gives, He takes, He blesses, He teaches, He disciplines .... HE LOVES.

I have fallen in love with the song "How He Loves Us" and it has kind of become my anthem because of the first verse and the truth that lies deep in the lyrics:

He is jealous for me 
Love's like a hurricane, I am a tree 
Bending beneath the weight of His wind and mercy 
When all of a sudden, I am unaware 

of these afflictions eclipsed by glory 
and I realize just how beautiful You are 

and how great your affections are for me. 
Oh, how He loves us so 

Let His love overcome your fears

His Love is Strong ...

So I showed up at my mom's house today to surprise her with flowers ... and she's not home.  Of course this is how my day is going.  Sooo .... I'm sitting on the couch watching VH1's Tough Love by myself and ready to take a nap.

This morning at church we dove into God's love for us.  I needed to hear what was shared this morning.  It wasn't even the words that Pastor Bruce shared necessarily.  But as the Scripture stared back at me throughout the sermon, God revealed some beautiful truths through it.  

James 1:17-18

Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. He chose to give us birth through the word of truth, that we might be a kind of firstfruits of all he created.

James says that God is the one who gives us every good and every perfect gift.  And I had to stop and think if I look for those good and perfect things.  Do I even understand what is good and perfect in my life.  And do I actively seek out the beautiful good and perfect things God is giving me?

He also says that God doesn't change .... He does not throw "evil" curveballs for funsies.  God's love for us is absolutely consistent.  Nothing I do can change His love.  

Verse 18 is absolutely beautiful and I don't think I would ever see the full beauty of it if Bruce didn't share the Jewish tradition that James is talking about here.  The words "chose" and "give" hold such strong value.  It's something that I've realized about relationships .... real love is choosing to love that person even when things get difficult and being willing to give of yourself so that the other person will be blessed and know they're loved.  Do you understand the fact that God chooses to give us eternal life?  His love is that beautiful.  And what about being a "kind of firstfruits"?  What do you think that means?  Because I had no idea.  But in the Jewish tradition, they would mark the "firstfruits" of the harvest with a reed and then collect them in an ornate basket, put the basket on an ox, and parade it through the streets so everyone can give thanks to God for what He gave.  He wraps a reed around us .... He takes special care of us and gives us beauty and good and perfection .... He shows us off in awe of what He made.  We are His.

Sometimes I forget that it is God's love for me that matters most.  He is my #1 love.  And when I compare myself to others, I am not seeing the good and perfect things God has given me.  And not seeing the beauty He has instilled in me.  And when I forget those things, I change who I am to try and fit someone else's mold.  And I realize I'm really unhappy when I do that because apparently it's not about fitting someone else's mold because the fact is I'll never be a fit.  It's about living out God's love for His creation with the specific way He has molded me ... no one else can love the way I do because I am a one-of-a-kind.  I am able to grow the Kingdom of God through my smile ... my laughter ... and my heart to share God's love.

Remember God's love today.  His love is strong.  His love is beautiful.  His love is number one.

Listen to Jon Foreman's "Your Love is Strong" today .... take a moment to take a deep breath in and a deep breath out.  Relish in the strength and dignity that are yours through your Creator's love.

Do You Remember the Time ...

So I just got home from youth group and I walk in to my mom watching American Idol.  Jamie Foxx was performing and my mom just kept talking about how talented he is.  And all I can flash back to is "Wanda" ... her big lips, crossed eyes, and big booty.  Wanda was Jamie's character on In Living Color  ....

Enjoy remembering the times before Jamie Foxx became a serious actor and take in the hilarity of who he is ...